NdukuOutLoud

On random happenings and our desire for meaning

No. Not everything.

But I do feel like it is important to believe or hope that everything does happen for a reason. It must. Especially the things that don’t make sense at the time, and those that happen at the absolute worst possible moment.

Like when you’ve had a really long, exhausting day and you just want to get into the house and rest, but your coat gets stubbornly hooked on the door knob. Or when you’re extremely late for work—again—and your little toe bravely finds the corner of the table, or the table aggressively finds it. Or when you’re just trying to have a warm, relaxing shower, but you can’t find the balance. Twist it one way and it’s extra hot; move it a fraction of a millimeter and you’ve entered the Ice Age.

What could possibly be the grand cosmic reason for any of that?

I know, we often try to attribute meaning to random sequences, especially if something happens right after an unexplainable event. Like if we get late, then happen to run into someone we don’t usually cross paths with, we’re quick to say that the delay was the reason we were late in the first place—all so we could have that encounter. But there’s really no way of knowing if we wouldn’t have run into them anyway.

We only think there might have been a reason after the fact. But when we’re right in the messy middle of it? It’s the absolute last thing we want to think about. Or hear.

Especially when there’s real loss and pain. People are quick to pop up and say that everything happens for a reason. Sometimes it’s because they truly do not know what else to say. Sometimes they genuinely believe it. Or sometimes, deep down, they acknowledge how messed up the situation is and they want there to be a reason, because going through certain things for nothing feels entirely unfair.

And yet… I do believe that there are no coincidences.

I’m not entirely sure if that makes me completely contradictory. But that’s where I’m at.