NdukuOutLoud

By definition, selfishness is the quality or state of being selfish; a lack of consideration for other people. To be selfish is to be excessively concerned with oneself and one’s own needs, often to the exclusion of others.

Selfishness is often regarded as a vice-something we wouldn’t want to associate with and are quick to dislike in others. This is particularly true in material contexts, where selfishness is viewed as the unwillingness to share what one has with others. A simplistic view, if you ask me.

I‘ve been reflecting on this lately, and think our instinct to vilify selfishness might be flawed. In fact, I’d argue that selfishness, when applied thoughtfully, can be a virtue.

A Case for Selfishness

We all have dreams, desires, and needs. None of which can be fulfilled without being excessively concerned-with our time, our interests and our needs. It is only when our own needs are met that we can begin to give to others without resentment. How often do we sacrifice for others only to feel unappreciated or strained in the end? This imbalance can harm our relationships and our mental health.

Achieving excellence in any endeavor often requires being “selfishly” dedicated to it. The corporate world and it’s ladders may demand extra hours at the office, and the artists may have to sleep in the studio more than once in a while, and the researcher may have to travel for months on end to collect data- success often demands a singular focus. Yet, this kind of focus is sometimes labeled selfish because it might mean spending less time with family or friends. Ironically, neglecting our dreams for others can lead to feelings of regret or resentment, which undermine both our personal happiness and our relationships

Selfishness and Mental Health

Selfishness is also essential for maintaining mental health. To protect our well-being, we must set boundaries and say to things that overwhelm or drain us. This often means being selective about how we spend our time and energy. Without such boundaries, we risk anxiety, burnout or other mental health challenges.

Taking time for hobbies, relaxations and personal growth may seem selfish to some, but it’s crucial for staying balanced.

It must not go too far

Of course, when taken to extremes, it can harm relationships, create feelings of neglect, or erode trust. It can strain personal connections and may even be used as a way to avoid responsibilities.

Embracing selfishness doesn’t mean trampling on others. It means prioritizing self, and pursuing personal goals while remaining aware of our responsibilities to others. Balance is key.

New View

When approached thoughtfully, selfishness isn’t about neglecting others-it’s about recognizing the importance of self care and personal boundaries. We can achieve personal growth while maintaining strong relationships.

Selfishness, then, becomes a virtue-a path to living authentically and sustainably.