NdukuOutLoud

On Borrowed Templates, Social Media, and the Joy of Figuring It Out

I enjoy writing. On paper. On digital paper, and on the beach too, when I get a chance.

Most of the writing I have done has been mostly for myself. Because I enjoy it, and because in a strange way, it helps get my thoughts together. I write to question beliefs- mine and those of others – and to see if we can figure out a better way to be.

And live.

Honestly, it has been beautiful so far. Keeping the things I write to myself and to the few people around me. But it is also pointless if the aim is to impact. And this is where the challenge lies: trying to reach more people. People who feel like I do—because it is always comforting to know there’s your kind of crazy out there. People to challenge the things I believe, but haven’t had the courage to question (or didn’t even know I needed to). Trust me, this has been hard. And more people to learn and grow with.

So, I’ve been trying to get active and “visible” on social media. And that has got to be one of the most uncomfortable things I am having to do this year. It’s already hard enough sharing my thoughts with friends, but now I have to learn how to do it with strangers.

In a way, it’s a chance to re-introduce myself. Because at the core, I am also trying to introduce myself to myself. I am questioning what I am, what I have been, and maybe even where I am headed. It is actually a bit comforting to introduce myself—to the internet fam—as who I am and who I am trying to be. They have no idea who I have been.

And that is maybe the only comforting thing about this attempt so far.

Anyway. I know now, from previous attempts at difficult things, that it’s always better to start small. So I started with faceless videos. But before I settled on that, I tried talking on camera too. Which is really the reason I am writing this. I engaged with something that got me thinking. Hard.

All these platforms—okay, the two that I have interacted with so far—sell themselves as easy. Easy because you don’t have to start from scratch. You can use templates. There are millions of templates to choose from, because hundreds of people have tried it before you and are now trying to make it easier for you.

The upside is that you don’t have to figure it all out for yourself. Ironically, I think that is also the downside. Yes, it’s faster. But oh, the joy of figuring it out for yourself. Unbeaten. Granted, I am no expert yet, and it will be difficult as I learn, but it is also growth, and I am willing to grow.

Which got me thinking about all the other templates that we inherit. Or are forced to adapt to as we go through life. Borrowed would be the perfect word. All the templates we are forced to borrow as we move along, and those that we choose to use for ourselves.

Cultures, traditions, and agreed-upon paths of life might be forced on us.

But are there other templates that we are choosing to borrow, simply because it is easier and faster than trying to create our own from scratch?

Doesn’t the individual that you are today deserve a few original ways of being? A few original templates? Maybe even better than the available ones?

Sure, true originality might be impossible given what we’ve already inherited. But we definitely don’t have to borrow everything. And even if we do borrow—because I know we have to—we have the liberty to make changes that suit us. To tailor it to who we are and what we are trying to achieve.

We owe that to ourselves.

• Is the relationship you’re trying to build based on a borrowed template, or is some of it truly yours?
• Have you simply borrowed the parenting template you’re using now, or have you added your own features to it?
• Is the career trajectory you are on right now a forced template, a borrowed one, or something original?

I’m still editing my own templates as I go. Are there templates in your life that need to be re-looked at? Do you need to edit, tear down, or start entirely from scratch?