NdukuOutLoud

We all walk around with very firm beliefs about who we are. Sometimes these beliefs are untrue, but to us, they seem undeniable. We hold these convictions dearly and protect them. When they are threatened, we act defensively. Our brains even work towards reinforcing these beliefs—recreating or altering actual events to suit them. Crazy, right? Maybe not too crazy for an organ that named itself.

Knowing ourselves is a great thing, but sometimes it holds us back because we want to stick to our comfortable ways. We might remain poor communicators even if it costs us relationships or stops them from blossoming to their full potential. We might stick to our compulsive shopping habits, identifying with them even though they drain us financially, put us in debt, and risk our future and families.

The good stuff is also dangerous because it can make us feel entitled. We think, “I’m kind, so bad things shouldn’t happen to me,” or “I’m nice to everyone, so everyone should be nice to me,” or “I was the smartest in my class, so I must be successful and great at everything I do.” But life doesn’t always work that way. When something “bad” happens, we get angry at the world and the people in it, and that can get really ugly.

What’s the purpose of this article? I’m not entirely sure. Maybe it’s just an excuse for me to stop the soul-searching and purpose-hunting journey that I need to complete. Or perhaps it’s an attempt to absolve myself—and you—from the responsibility of knowing ourselves. Or maybe it’s life-changing advice.

Let go of yourself. In fact, Buddhism suggests that “you” don’t even exist, so there’s nothing to lose. Let go of the idea that you’re this way or that way and that it needs to stay that way. Or that the way you are is wrong and needs to change. Even asking you to stop holding on to who you believe you are is, in itself, asking you to change. But let go. Embrace whatever situation life throws at you.

Be water.