NdukuOutLoud

And Why You Should be Happy If It Is

Rule No. 6 : Set your house in perfect order before you criticize the world.

There are realities in the world that simply refuse to make sense. And I know it’s not just me. High on that list is childhood cancer – a cruel unearned suffering that breaks every framework of a ‘just’ universe.

I struggle to make peace with a God that lets children be born with cancer or luekemia , or forced to require life support from early on life. Or worse still, to lose parents at a very young age. It’s not to say that it is okay when tragic things happen to adults. But with kids, it just doesn’t add up.

Back when God to me was a big man in the sky with a beard, I always said I’d like to ask Him a few questions to understand how He could let such things be. And because I also though He was entirely good, I tried to make excuses for Him.

One of my favourites- and I am not entirely sure this has changed – was the idea that maybe He isn’t in control after all. That He probably finished creation, then spun a wheel – a very big carnival wheel. And now, He is just as surprised as we are at everything that happens.

And this was only to try to explain the bad things. Good things rarely come with major questions or discomfort. Even the ones we don’t deserve. Mostly the ones we don’t deserve. Good is fine. Pain and Evil is not.

Not all evil feels the same, though. Some feels justified – understandable, if you like.

Take abuse, for example. When abused people abuse others, we find a way to rationalize it. We say they did not know any better. When they decide not to abuse others directly, but take their pain out in other ways -violence, torture-it somehow makes sense. We can find it in ourselves to understand how someone could get to that point.

It’s similar when evil is an act of vengeance. But is that even pure suffering? To the person on the receiving end, sure. But to the rest of us, we call it consequences. It makes sense. We understand both the doer -because they feel justified-and the victim, because in our minds, “they brought it upon themselves.”

When pain comes with a cause or an explanation, we can digest it. It gives suffering a storyline and an author.

What really terrifies us isn’t the pain that comes with an explanation – it’s the suffering that has no author at all. The one we have had to agree is inherent with life itself. To live is to experience some amount of suffering.

And yet, we would prefer not to suffer at all – especially if we consider ourselves innocent. If it is something that we have brought upon ourselves maybe by our bad habits and terrible decisions, we might be able to deal. But if we feel we don’t deserve it, then it’s a problem.

It’s not just a problem because we think of ourselves as good people who expect good things. It’s also because unearned suffering reminds us of our own fragility. It reminds us of how little control we have over our own lives, and how much we really do not have a say in.

Go down this road long enough and life itself becomes meaningless. Where the end is known, and all things and all life are slowly heading toward destruction.To give up would be the easiest, and maybe even the most rational, solution.

Because why do it if we all know how it ends? What’s the point?

Maybe there isn’t one. Maybe we’re just pawns in somebody’s game. Maybe we’re not even here.

Taking Back Control

Or maybe we’re not that powerless. Maybe there are things in our control that we can set right.

Yes, some misfortunes will befall us that we have zero control over. There’s really no use in focusing on those. We should focus, instead, on what is in our control. Because if you look hard enough, you will find that there is some misfortune expressing itself in your life that is totally within your hands.

And that is what Rule 6 is really about.

Sure, the world is messed up. And it’s crazy that there is all this suffering. But is there some that you have brought upon yourself?

• Do you keep doing what you know is wrong and refuse to do what you know to be right?
• Are you blaming God or fate for things that you have brought upon yourself?

As I was reading this chapter, a few things came to mind—things that I know I could get right, things that would maybe reduce the suffering and the pain that has become part of my life.

And I hope reading this does the same for you.

My hope is that as you sit and think, you will identify a few things that you know you could set right. And that you will actually set them right. After the first few, you might discover a few more that you could change, and you’ll get on with those, too.

And maybe if enough of us stopped doing what we know to be wrong, we could set the world on a completely different path. But it all starts with getting your own life in order before taking on the world.