NdukuOutLoud

On doing it Just Cause

I used to think-and part of me probably still does-that I didn’t get what I wanted because I didn’t want it badly enough. I thought the career stalling, the missed promotions, were all my own doing. And as I’ve said, that might still be true. I’m doing something about that now, but perhaps that isn’t the perfect example.

It goes for relationships, too. Sure, there are some I truly didn’t want, so I did nothing to build them, and thankfully, they didn’t work out. Others I wanted a little bit; I put in minimal effort, and they lasted just long enough to fulfill their purpose in my life.

Fast forward to now, to something I really want. I am putting in intentional effort. I am going all out—at least to the best of my ability. I am fully aware that my “best” might not be the very best. But it is mine, and this is my story, so we will have to work with my best as the only one that matters here.

Yet, I am learning that you could want something so badly, but that is still no guarantee that you get to have it.

And before you roll your eyes and think, “Duh, wanting is not enough,” trust me: I know.

I know that wanting is just the beginning, and sometimes it is the only thing there will ever be. Sometimes we never get past the wanting. And I know that the effort we put in usually reflects the level of that wanting. So, my wanting is being backed up with efforts just as intense.

This means I am bringing in lessons from other attempts that did not go quite as planned. I am acknowledging my mistakes and correcting them. I am learning from past events—because what is the point of going through it if you don’t learn anything from it?

But, unfortunately, even that is no guarantee that it will work out better this time.

And this is a hard lesson for me. One that I am still coming to terms with. One that I wish I did not have to learn at all.

Now, I know that this is the way life goes. You get, you lose. You build, you might not keep. There’s really no guarantee that any of these things work out; it could go either way. There might be a few things here and there that are somewhat certain.

I say “somewhat” because I was thinking about physical health – usually, if you don’t take care of yourself, don’t watch what you eat, or don’t exercise, your health will probably go bust. But you could also do all that, and it still goes bust. And elsewhere, somebody could do none of these things and yet be among the healthiest of people.

Maybe not the best example because it introduces the aspect of life, death, and its sources-a tangent I am not willing to take on today, at least not with this post.

But the point is that there’s really no guarantee. It could work, or it could fail. Everything we take a chance on either works out or it doesn’t. Sometimes it’s because of things we did -or did not do-and sometimes it’s because of circumstances beyond us.

And how has that changed my perspective?

You might be thinking (and I think it, too): if it will not work out as planned anyway, why put all the time and effort into it?

And to that, I ask back: “Why the hell not?”

You just need to do it. You need to enjoy it. And you need to make sure that what you’re doing is what you really want.

Because sometimes, that’s all that matters. That you’re doing what you want to do. Precisely because of just that-because you want to do it.

Is it better if it works out? Sure. It would be great!

But even if it doesn’t, at least it’s what you wanted to do. And that counts for something.