NdukuOutLoud

Daily writing prompt

What’s the thing you’re most scared to do? What would it take to get you to do it?

View all responses

The thing I’m most scared to do?
Start over.

I’m excited about the possibilities ahead. About finally stepping into the version of myself I always knew I could be, but kept postponing. Delaying. Doubting.

I’m scared I’ve wasted too much time thinking, worrying, circling. That it’s already late. Too late.
I’m scared it won’t look like I’ve pictured in my head. That I’ll have to start over. Again. And again.

I’m scared of letting go of the comfort-the stability I’ve carved out even in undesirable conditions. Because somehow, I made it work.
Don’t we all?
We make excuses to stay. Build alibis to justify staying. Even when we know, deep down, we shouldn’t.

I’m scared of losing the connections, the community I’ve built. That they won’t understand. That they won’t support this new chapter. That I’ll have to do it alone.

It’s not the first time I’ve had to face things alone. But it is the first time I’m choosing it. Before, I was thrown into the deep end and had to swim. This time, I’m throwing myself in-with the sharks. And minimal swimming skills.

So what will it take to finally do it?
Nothing. I already am.

I’m letting go of other people’s expectations. Answering only to myself. Refusing to lose the pieces of me I’ve fought so hard to reclaim.

I’m giving myself grace. Because I built this life with unfavorable circumstances. And if I could build this, how much more can I build when I step forward intentionally?

I’m staying open to new community. Hoping some of the old might join me later.

Am I still scared? Yes.
But I’m doing it anyway.

For me.

And I hope you do it, too. I hope fear doesn’t stop you from dreaming, wanting, chasing more. Even if you don’t conquer it, I hope you learn to live with it-as a companion that guides you, not an enemy that stops you.

Because fear is proof. Proof that you’re challenging beliefs and circumstances you should never have accepted in the first place. Proof that you’re actually doing it.

And when you look back, I hope you smile. Smile at how far you’ve come. Still a little scared of the next step. But ready to do it again.

Because fear is no longer the enemy.
You made it your companion.