NdukuOutLoud

What alternative career paths have you considered or are interested in?

I rolled my eyes at this at first. Because since I have been complaining about my career lately and how I got into it in the first place. They always ask what other career paths I am interested in. But what if I don’t want another job. Or even a better one-even if I really could use one. I don’t think I am. I’m looking for another way of being.

I’ve done this once already. Went to school. Graduated. Got the job. Now I am working. Paying bills. And getting older. And while I dare not sound ungrateful because I know how hard it is to even have a job in this country of ours( a man-made problem, if you ask me)- I still find myself wondering ; Is this really it?

Maybe this is just an idea I have picked up from seeing people daring to do it differently. But I can’t shake the feeling that there’s more to life than this endless loop of survival.

So do I want an alternative career? Not really. I’m not interested in climbing another set of invisible ladders or breaking ceilings that were maybe meant to protect us from the heat or the rain or falling stones. I don’t want to chase the titles or promotions any more. I’m chasing peace. Alternative ways of being.

Bold ways of living. Of making decisions that are mine and stick to them. Of saying no to things that do not align with my values. Of talking back when challenged by people or systems that don’t reflect what I believe in. Of not worrying about what people think and start living like I mean it.

I want to show up. Even when no one else is coming. Even when I don’t feel like it. To go to places because I said I would. Because I want to. Whether or not someone else is tagging along.

The peaceful alternative. Of knowing deeply that I am enough. That I am whole. That I don’t need fixing. Just refining. Like a marathon runner who could run better with a little more practice or a different pair of shoes. Not a broken toy needing new software.

To be present. Not just physically, but emotionally. To be able to listen-not to respond, but to understand. To hear what’s being said and what’s not being said. To be fully involved with the people I love and the things I choose to do.

The in-love alternative. Not the obsessive, toxic kind. Not the possessive “you belong to me’ kind. But the kind that encourages growth. That extends itself for the spiritual development of another. The kind M. Scott Peck wrote about in The Road Less Travelled.

I want to love people. Nature. Life itself.

The life that not only worries about myself. To be useful to the world and the people in it. To be of help and support, not only to those related and close to me, but even to those that are far away that I need to find a way to reach. I know that I may not be able to heal the world solo. But I can touch a few souls here and there that ultimately contributes to the wellness of the world.

And to remember to be all these things and more. Because life is messy. And we’re human. And sometimes we forget. We say things we shouldn’t. We do things we swore we wouldn’t. But I want to keep trying. To keep remembering. To keep becoming.

Do I wish to be a higher paid psychologist than the underpaid accountant that I am now? Definitely. Or maybe a housewife( which is wild considering my patience and my low affinity to the kitchen and cooking skills.) Or an author- even though I still struggle with sticking to characters and themes.) Yes.

But mostly, I want alternative ways of living. Of being alive.

And if you’re reading this and nodding along-maybe you do too.