NdukuOutLoud

I don’t know.

Mine comes and goes. Its been flaky. Up and down like the fuel prices in this country. And maybe that is why I haven’t been able to stick to goals. Always setting and resetting.

I blamed it. Made motivation the villain. Labeled it overrated. Secretly envied the people who seem to have it on tap, every day, every month, every year.

So I stopped chasing it and are trying to build systems instead. Made a list. Not of tasks, but of the life I want. The kind of person I want to be.

I have always heard and known that working out is good for me. That I’ll look and feel better. But funny thing is that this knowing alone wasn’t enough to make me move. So I made a schedule. Found accountability partners. And today-I ran my first 5K. Hurray.

I want deep connections just as badly as I want to stay home alone and not have to interact. So I make time to call during lunch breaks. Forwarding videos. Fun things at least once a month. Intentional.

Learning? I love fiction. But sometimes I need to go deeper. So I pick a topic, without motivation, find notes and carry them everywhere. Commutes, quiet moments-became classooms.

And on Motherhood-I want to lead by example. I want to be better because she’s watching. Oh hey- maybe that’s my motivation after all. Maybe she’s the spark.

So I rely more on structures and systems. On showing up even when I don’t feel like it. And a few things are sticking now.

Motivation, for me at least, is moody. But I’m not. Not anymore.