NdukuOutLoud

I don’t always like it.

Sometimes it’s unbelievably difficult to put exactly what I want to say into words-the way I feel it. To be able to convey the emotion with the precision it deserves. And sometimes, it just flows. The words come effortlessly , and I feel like I’ve captured exactly what I want to say, the way I want to say it.

But what I truly enjoy about writing is the discovery that comes from it.

I sit down with one idea-seeming one way-and as I write, I get exposed to thoughts about myself or how I view the world that I had no idea existed. Emotions I didn’t know could be evoked. It’s like I expose myself to myself-if that makes sense.

Most times, I begin with no ending in sight. Just an idea. And as I write, it morphs into something coherent. Meaningful. I know this goes against most of the writing advice I’ve received-about planning, outlining, having a clear structure. Subsections, segments, closing paragraphs. I’m not there yet.

But I’ve found beauty in the unplanned. Or maybe it’s just a comfort zone I am not ready to move out of.

Most times, in the unplanned- it’s beautiful discoveries. Thoughts that spark deeper reflections, decisions, even ideas for the next piece. Other times, I am exposed to sides of myself I’d rather not deal with. Emotions I’ve been avoiding. But writing brings them to the surface, and I have to face them.

And I also love that, unlike with people, I can talk and talk without worrying about tiring them. I can let thoughts flow in and out of my fingers without fear of being a nuisance. I can go on about the most trivial things without worrying about being “too much.”

Writing is also me keeping my words to myself. And as I’ve discovered, this is one of the greatest feelings ever. Being able to do something just for me. Because I promised myself I would. It’s wonderful when it benefits someone else-when it builds or triggers something in a reader. But mostly, being able to write for me is one of the best feelings ever.

So I think, basically, Writing is therapeutic for me.